<?xml version='1.0' encoding='UTF-8'?><?xml-stylesheet href="http://www.blogger.com/styles/atom.css" type="text/css"?><feed xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom' xmlns:openSearch='http://a9.com/-/spec/opensearchrss/1.0/' xmlns:georss='http://www.georss.org/georss' xmlns:gd='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005' xmlns:thr='http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0'><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-516191302505778836</id><updated>2012-02-16T19:43:40.563-08:00</updated><title type='text'>Unique Barcode</title><subtitle type='html'></subtitle><link rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#feed' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://coolwaternews.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/516191302505778836/posts/default?max-results=100'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://coolwaternews.blogspot.com/'/><link rel='hub' href='http://pubsubhubbub.appspot.com/'/><author><name>Ryan Coolwater</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/00041473657124697955</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><generator version='7.00' uri='http://www.blogger.com'>Blogger</generator><openSearch:totalResults>19</openSearch:totalResults><openSearch:startIndex>1</openSearch:startIndex><openSearch:itemsPerPage>100</openSearch:itemsPerPage><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-516191302505778836.post-5616541870177207963</id><published>2007-12-04T11:12:00.000-08:00</published><updated>2007-12-04T11:14:01.874-08:00</updated><title type='text'>Final Piece</title><content type='html'>&lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;FACULTY ADVISORS/Caleb Waldron&lt;span style=""&gt;                                                                      &lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt;                             &lt;/span&gt;1&lt;br /&gt;STUDENT ORGANIZATIONS HAVE LOVE, HATE, OBLIVIOUS RELATIONSHIP WITH FACULTY ADVISORS &lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;By Caleb Waldron&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;o:p&gt; &lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;The events of September 11&lt;sup&gt;th&lt;/sup&gt;, 2001 shifted the world’s focus to Islamic issues.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;“There were a lot of questions and interest about Islam and its followers after 9/11, and I took that as a good way to educate people on Muslim issues,” said sophomore Mohsen Ghazi.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt; &lt;/span&gt;He and junior Alyssa Al-Dookhi took that interest as an opportunity to start the Muslim Student Association, a group dedicated to Islamic issues.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;“The group’s goal is to help create awareness about Islam and Muslims, to explore various feelings people have about Islam, to think progressively about Islamic issues, and to support each other in a non-Muslim setting,” said Al-Dookhi.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt;            &lt;/span&gt;The process of forming a student organization proved to be a complex issue.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;A formal submission of the group’s mission statement, student membership, leadership, and proposed budgeting were all required.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;The task was overwhelming for the group of students who had little to no experience with the inner bowels of &lt;st1:city st="on"&gt;&lt;st1:place st="on"&gt;Kalamazoo&lt;/st1:place&gt;&lt;/st1:City&gt; bureaucracy.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;Due to issues of paperwork, the MSA was unable to become a formal student organization and receive school funding.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;But through the help of College Chaplain and Professor of English Mary Ellen Ashcroft, the organization was able to independently raise money for its events.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;“Mary-Ellen was a lot of help- she really helped us get off the ground,” said Ghazi.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt;            &lt;/span&gt;The situation of the Muslim Students Association speaks to the larger issue of faculty involvement in student organizations as a whole.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;Student organizations have a need for constant, relatable sources of information and guidance.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;This is especially true for long-term establishment, considering that leadership gap formed by juniors’ de-acclimation to campus issues following their study abroad.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;Faculty are an ideal resource.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt; &lt;/span&gt;“I think that having a faculty advisor is a great help because we can turn to him for more ideas when we have come to a road block,” said Amnesty International member and sophomore Jillian Belstler.  “The students do pretty much all of the work, but it is nice to have Dr. Dugas there when we have questions or need another opinion.”&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;Faculty advisors provide a sense of history, stability, and continuity that helps student organizations overcome otherwise daunting obstacles.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;“If from year to year groups don’t see what’s good or bad, they fall into the same mistakes,” said Director of Student Activities and Hicks Center Brian&lt;b style=""&gt; &lt;/b&gt;Dietz.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;“Advisors would help groups work on previous mistakes and build on previous success.”&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;b style=""&gt;&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;But while faculty advisors provide a valuable resource to student organizations, the school has no official policy regarding their responsibility or availability.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;Said Dietz, “I don’t know if we have a clear policy.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;Nobody’s got a real history; I don’t know if it was ever stopped- no one seems to recall anything official.”&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;The relationship between faculty advisors and student organizations is forged on a case-by-case basis, independent of any official guidelines or policy.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;“I assumed that student groups were required to have a faculty advisor.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;My assumption was that it was a requirement that wasn’t enforced,” said Dan Lipson, faculty advisor for the American Civil Liberties &lt;st1:place st="on"&gt;Union&lt;/st1:place&gt; and Assistant Professor of Political Science.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;Lipson had never been asked to sign papers or officially register himself as a faculty advisor.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;He simply accepted the group’s invitation to join their organization.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;While a clearer policy would help broadcast the potential resource of faculty advising, the vagueness of the policy isn’t altogether unintentional.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;Not all student organizations want faculty advisors, such as groups that focus on peer-to-peer discussions.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;But more importantly, faculty advisors pose a potential threat to student organizations’ sense of independence.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;“The point of a student organization it to be independent of authority.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;So I don’t know if the role of faculty advisors is required-- it seems to be another hoop to jump through,” said Associate Professor of Psychology Karyn Boatwright.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;The element of independence that surrounds the general college experience seems to prevent many student organizations from seeking out a potentially autocratic authority figure.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;“We like feeling independent and able to make decisions for ourselves without having to consult a faculty member first,” stated Sexual Health Awareness Group member Caitlin Rider.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt;            &lt;/span&gt;Faculty advisors have to strike a delicate balance.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;They can discuss, but can’t dominate—they can complement, but can’t command.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt;            &lt;/span&gt;The administration recognizes this delicate equilibrium between independence and inexperience. It recognizes that leadership must come from the student body and that faculty advisors must not be mandatory, especially considering that there aren’t enough faculty advisors for the 93 student organizations currently running.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;(With 93 organizations, any policy that made faculty advisors mandatory would either force faculty to advise multiple organizations at a time, or student organizations to officially shut down.)&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;But it also wants to make the resource of potential faculty advisors known to campus, and to create a formal system for helping faculty advisors connect with student organizations. &lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;“I’ve been an advisor of the WRC for three years, and I’ve never been asked for advice or to attend a meeting,” said associated professor of psychology Karyn Boatwright on a crisp fall afternoon.&lt;span style=""&gt;    &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;Heide Taylor, member of the WRC, said later that night:&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;“We have an advisor?&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;I’ve never even met her.”&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;The administration would like to prevent situations like these from re-occurring.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;It’s a delicate balance, and the school will address it accordingly.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;The school’s plan for dealing with the unclear policy is to gradually introduce the concept of faculty advisors to the campus.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;The next few years will be a bridge period, in which the concept of a faculty advisor will be set in place and organizations see the benefits of having one. &lt;span style=""&gt; &lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt; &lt;/span&gt;“Initially we wouldn’t make it mandatory.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;If a group wants a faculty advisor they’d be assigned one, to build a concept of what an advisor is.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;Other groups will see that setting goals, committees, and faculty advisors helps groups.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;And then, we’ll see where it goes from there,” said Dietz.&lt;span style=""&gt;   &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt;                                                &lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt;              &lt;/span&gt;-30-&lt;/p&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/516191302505778836-5616541870177207963?l=coolwaternews.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://coolwaternews.blogspot.com/feeds/5616541870177207963/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=516191302505778836&amp;postID=5616541870177207963' title='2 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/516191302505778836/posts/default/5616541870177207963'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/516191302505778836/posts/default/5616541870177207963'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://coolwaternews.blogspot.com/2007/12/final-piece.html' title='Final Piece'/><author><name>Ryan Coolwater</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/00041473657124697955</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><thr:total>2</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-516191302505778836.post-4480801677465108536</id><published>2007-12-01T16:13:00.000-08:00</published><updated>2007-12-04T09:31:36.425-08:00</updated><title type='text'>Article Critique 12/1</title><content type='html'>&lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;The following is a critique of the December 11&lt;sup&gt;th&lt;/sup&gt; “New York Times” article “Feminist Pitch for a Democrat Named Obama,” which is accessible via the link:&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2007/12/02/us/politics/02women.html?hp"&gt;http://www.nytimes.com/2007/12/02/us/politics/02women.html?hp&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;&lt;!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--&gt; &lt;!--[endif]--&gt;&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;I find this article’s title to be unnecessarily long.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;The words “A Democrat Named” add nothing to the title’s meaning- they’re dead weight.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;I find that the article’s lede adequately conveys the heart of the story- it provides the reader with the five “w’s” in a loose sentence structure that gets the information across without overwhelming the reader.&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;The paragraph structure loops in on itself and creates a sense of repetition.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;The piece alternates between a description of how Mr. Obama is an enticing candidate to feminist political circles and how some feminist political circles are epistemologically torn over the upcoming presidential election.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;Each paragraph provides more general information on the themes, but no sense of chronological progression or thematic focus.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;The piece presents facts, but it doesn’t give the reader incentive to read the entire article.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;    &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt;            &lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt;                        &lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt;            &lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;-30-&lt;/p&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/516191302505778836-4480801677465108536?l=coolwaternews.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='related' href='http://www.nytimes.com/2007/12/02/us/politics/02women.html?hp' title='Article Critique 12/1'/><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://coolwaternews.blogspot.com/feeds/4480801677465108536/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=516191302505778836&amp;postID=4480801677465108536' title='6 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/516191302505778836/posts/default/4480801677465108536'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/516191302505778836/posts/default/4480801677465108536'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://coolwaternews.blogspot.com/2007/12/article-critique-121.html' title='Article Critique 12/1'/><author><name>Ryan Coolwater</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/00041473657124697955</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><thr:total>6</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-516191302505778836.post-5104293918920296628</id><published>2007-11-25T15:35:00.000-08:00</published><updated>2007-12-04T09:31:23.142-08:00</updated><title type='text'>Critique 11/25</title><content type='html'>&lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;ARTICLE CRITIQUE/Caleb Waldron&lt;span style=""&gt;                                                             &lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt;          &lt;/span&gt;1&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;&lt;st1:place st="on"&gt;&lt;st1:placename st="on"&gt;ARTICLE&lt;/st1:placename&gt; &lt;st1:placetype st="on"&gt;FALLS&lt;/st1:placetype&gt;&lt;/st1:place&gt; SHORT&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;By Caleb Waldron&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;&lt;o:p&gt; &lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;The following is a critique of the November 25&lt;sup&gt;th&lt;/sup&gt; &lt;st1:state st="on"&gt;New York&lt;/st1:state&gt; Times piece “As Democrats See Security Gains in &lt;st1:place st="on"&gt;&lt;st1:country-region st="on"&gt;Iraq&lt;/st1:country-region&gt;&lt;/st1:place&gt;, Tone Shifts,” which is accessible via the link: &lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;&lt;a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/25/us/politics/25dems.html?_r=1&amp;amp;ref=todayspaper&amp;amp;oref=slogin"&gt;http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/25/us/politics/25dems.html?_r=1&amp;amp;ref=todayspaper&amp;amp;oref=slogin&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;&lt;o:p&gt; &lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;My impression of this piece is that it tries to get too much information to the reader at a time, starting with the title.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;The title’s attempts to reflect both the potential security gains in &lt;st1:country-region st="on"&gt;&lt;st1:place st="on"&gt;Iraq&lt;/st1:place&gt;&lt;/st1:country-region&gt; for Democratic candidates and the shift in Democrats’ tone at the same time makes the phrase seem awkward.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt;            &lt;/span&gt;In the coming paragraphs, the piece attempts to address these issues at the same time.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;This makes the reader feel like they’re hopping from one storyline to the next.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;There’s no sense of flow or natural progression, only an anxious scattershot of information.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;The following sentence is a suitable example: “if security continues to improve, President Bush could become less of a drag on his party, too, and Republicans may have an easier time zeroing in on other issues, such as how the Democrats have proposed raising taxes in difficult economic times.”&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;This reads like an anxious leapfrog, manically hopping from one Lilly-pad of an idea to the next.&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;&lt;o:p&gt; &lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt;                                                &lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt;      &lt;/span&gt;-30-&lt;/p&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/516191302505778836-5104293918920296628?l=coolwaternews.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='related' href='http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/25/us/politics/25dems.html?_r=1&amp;ref=todayspaper&amp;oref=slogin' title='Critique 11/25'/><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://coolwaternews.blogspot.com/feeds/5104293918920296628/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=516191302505778836&amp;postID=5104293918920296628' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/516191302505778836/posts/default/5104293918920296628'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/516191302505778836/posts/default/5104293918920296628'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://coolwaternews.blogspot.com/2007/11/critique-1125.html' title='Critique 11/25'/><author><name>Ryan Coolwater</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/00041473657124697955</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-516191302505778836.post-4739977448369279258</id><published>2007-11-18T19:21:00.000-08:00</published><updated>2007-12-04T09:31:10.739-08:00</updated><title type='text'>Article Critique for November 18</title><content type='html'>&lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;The following is a critique of the November 18&lt;sup&gt;th&lt;/sup&gt; New York Times Article “A Guerilla Video Site Meets MTV,” which is accessible via the following link: &lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/19/business/media/19vice.html?hp&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;&lt;o:p&gt; &lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;I find this article to have the structure and tone of a casual conversation.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;Structurally, the story follows the rise in popularity of Vice magazine according to chronological sequence.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;There are no erratic jumps from one topic to the next that leave the convey a feeling of disorganization or lack of professionalism. &lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt;            &lt;/span&gt;Stylistically, however, this story conveys the feeling of a casual conversation.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;The following excerpts are especially glaring examples: &lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;1) “Vice did some work…” This description doesn’t provide information in regards to when this action occurred.&lt;span style=""&gt;   &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;2) “Vice was started in &lt;st1:place st="on"&gt;&lt;st1:city st="on"&gt;Montreal&lt;/st1:city&gt;&lt;/st1:place&gt; in 1994…” This description personifies a corporate entity and doesn’t give specific evidence that supports Vice’s surprise.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;3) “So the magazine started to cover more serious issues.”&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;The word “so” at the beginning of this sentence creates an off-hand tone, in which separate sentences are blurred together more than most newspaper pieces.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;4) “The deal with MTV gives Vice the resources to apply its D.I.Y. approach in a new medium, and it has enlisted &lt;a href="http://topics.nytimes.com/top/reference/timestopics/people/j/spike_jonze/index.html?inline=nyt-per" title="More articles about Spike Jonze."&gt;Spike Jonze&lt;/a&gt;, the film director, as VBS creative director.” &lt;span style=""&gt; &lt;/span&gt;The large number of clauses in this enormous compound sentence draws the reader on through the sentence, which more emulates a conversation rather than conveys brief clips of information.&lt;span style=""&gt;   &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;5) “There are no lights or makeup.”&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;-This sentence doesn’t explicitly explain the situation in which there are no lights or makeup.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;While that piece of information was detailed earlier in the piece, the abrupt sentence is still irregular for its dependence on&lt;span style=""&gt;   &lt;/span&gt;a larger context of the piece to be understood.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;While this style of writing doesn’t detract from the general idea of the story, it does create a relaxed and slapdash tone.&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;o:p&gt; &lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt;                                                          &lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt;    &lt;/span&gt;-30-&lt;/p&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/516191302505778836-4739977448369279258?l=coolwaternews.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='related' href='http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/19/business/media/19vice.html?hp' title='Article Critique for November 18'/><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://coolwaternews.blogspot.com/feeds/4739977448369279258/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=516191302505778836&amp;postID=4739977448369279258' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/516191302505778836/posts/default/4739977448369279258'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/516191302505778836/posts/default/4739977448369279258'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://coolwaternews.blogspot.com/2007/11/article-critique-for-november-18.html' title='Article Critique for November 18'/><author><name>Ryan Coolwater</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/00041473657124697955</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-516191302505778836.post-4557007494774864924</id><published>2007-11-09T10:01:00.000-08:00</published><updated>2007-12-04T09:30:47.695-08:00</updated><title type='text'>Article Critique 9/9</title><content type='html'>&lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;ARTICLE CRITIQUE/Caleb Waldron&lt;span style=""&gt;                                                                     &lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt;          &lt;/span&gt;1&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;&lt;st1:place st="on"&gt;&lt;st1:placename st="on"&gt;ARTICLE&lt;/st1:placename&gt; &lt;st1:placetype st="on"&gt;FALLS&lt;/st1:placetype&gt;&lt;/st1:place&gt; SHORT OF EXPECTATIONS&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;By Caleb Waldron&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;&lt;o:p&gt; &lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;The following is a critique of the November 9, 2007 New York Times article “Thousands of Police Block Pakistan Rally,” accessible through the link &lt;a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/10/world/asia/10pakistan.html?pagewanted=2&amp;amp;_r=1&amp;amp;hp"&gt;http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/10/world/asia/10pakistan.html?pagewanted=2&amp;amp;_r=1&amp;amp;hp&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;&lt;o:p&gt; &lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;I find that while this article does relay the facts and implications of political turmoil in &lt;st1:place st="on"&gt;&lt;st1:country-region st="on"&gt;Pakistan&lt;/st1:country-region&gt;&lt;/st1:place&gt;, its contradictions, lack of sourcing, inclarity, and poor grammar detract from the story as a whole.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;While the story’s lede does accurately capture the rising tension between the Palestinian government and opposition leader Benazir Bhutto, it doesn’t touch upon the situation’s implications or context.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;The reader is presented with cold facts, but not with a motivation to discover their signifigance.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;The article also houses an apparent contradiction.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;While the article’s fourth paragraph on the second page mentions that Bhutto’s house arrest may be a face saving gesture for the government, the work’s last paragraph states that the situation poses problems for the government.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;These statements are especially conflicting due to a lack of sourcing or supporting evidence to their validity.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;The writer merely sources the analysis to “analysts” instead of providing their name or rank. &lt;span style=""&gt;                                              &lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt;          &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;This article’s grammar is also of poor quality.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;The writer begins the seventh paragraph of the second page with the a conjunction, fails to place end quotation marks on the first paragraph of the second page, and awkwardly slaps together four seperte clauses in the tenth paragraph of the first page.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;This crates an impression of sloppy and disorganized writing.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;Overall, this is a poorly written journalistic piece.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;&lt;o:p&gt; &lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt;                                                &lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt; &lt;/span&gt;-30- &lt;/p&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/516191302505778836-4557007494774864924?l=coolwaternews.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='related' href='http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/10/world/asia/10pakistan.html?pagewanted=2&amp;_r=1&amp;hp' title='Article Critique 9/9'/><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://coolwaternews.blogspot.com/feeds/4557007494774864924/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=516191302505778836&amp;postID=4557007494774864924' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/516191302505778836/posts/default/4557007494774864924'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/516191302505778836/posts/default/4557007494774864924'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://coolwaternews.blogspot.com/2007/11/article-critique-99.html' title='Article Critique 9/9'/><author><name>Ryan Coolwater</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/00041473657124697955</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-516191302505778836.post-6697811807478180475</id><published>2007-11-06T06:12:00.000-08:00</published><updated>2007-12-02T11:39:38.391-08:00</updated><title type='text'>Revision of In-Class Crime Story</title><content type='html'>&lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;FIRE/Caleb Waldron&lt;span style=""&gt;                                                                                                    &lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt;          &lt;/span&gt;1&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;SUSPECTED ARSON KILLS CHILD&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;By Caleb Waldron&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;&lt;o:p&gt; &lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;&lt;st1:place st="on"&gt;&lt;st1:city st="on"&gt;KALAMAZOO&lt;/st1:city&gt;, &lt;st1:state st="on"&gt;Mich.&lt;/st1:state&gt;&lt;/st1:place&gt; - A suspected act of arson killed a child and destroyed a duplex early this morning, said officials.&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;According to Deputy Chief of the Kalamazoo Fire Department Patricia Clarkson, the fire occurred at &lt;st1:street st="on"&gt;&lt;st1:address st="on"&gt;1275 Monroe St.&lt;/st1:address&gt;&lt;/st1:street&gt; at 2 a.m. and was called in at 2:10 am.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;Fire detectors were not up to code.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;All 10 of the confirmed tenants escaped the building on their own accord, except for Tiffany Blanchard, age 3, and her brothers Tory, age 5, and Terry, age 6 who were rescued by firefighters and brought to &lt;st1:place st="on"&gt;&lt;st1:placename st="on"&gt;Bronson&lt;/st1:placename&gt; &lt;st1:placename st="on"&gt;Memorial&lt;/st1:placename&gt;  &lt;st1:placetype st="on"&gt;Hospital&lt;/st1:placetype&gt;&lt;/st1:place&gt; at 3:12 am.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;According to a spokesperson of &lt;st1:place st="on"&gt;&lt;st1:placename st="on"&gt;Bronson&lt;/st1:placename&gt; &lt;st1:placename st="on"&gt;Memorial&lt;/st1:placename&gt; &lt;st1:placetype st="on"&gt;Hospital&lt;/st1:placetype&gt;&lt;/st1:place&gt;, Tiffany died of smoke inhalation at 3:57 am.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;Tory and Terry were released at 10 am after treatment for minor injuries to their mother Marie Blanchard, 32, of &lt;st1:place st="on"&gt;&lt;st1:city st="on"&gt;Kalamazoo&lt;/st1:city&gt;,  &lt;st1:state st="on"&gt;Mich.&lt;/st1:state&gt;&lt;/st1:place&gt; &lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;Marie Blanchard, tenant and mother of the three evacuated children, is believed to be the target of the suspected arson.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;Accelerants were detected by trained dogs of the fire department, and according to lieutenant Regina Sentarpio of the Kalamazoo Police Department, witnesses say they saw a juvenile holding a canister near the premises prior to the fire.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;Vincent DeNofrio, 33, of &lt;st1:place st="on"&gt;&lt;st1:city st="on"&gt;Mattawan&lt;/st1:city&gt;, &lt;st1:state st="on"&gt;Mich.&lt;/st1:state&gt;&lt;/st1:place&gt;, and a 16-year-old a juvenile has been arrested in connection to the suspected arson.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;DeNofrio is suspected to be the estranged boyfriend of Blanchard.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;“What I can tell you, without hesitation, is that there is a nexus&lt;br /&gt;between Ms. Blanchard, Mr. DeNofrio, the juvenile, and the fire,” said Santarpio.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;The suspects are scheduled to be arraigned tomorrow at 10 am.&lt;span style=""&gt;    &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;span style="text-transform: uppercase;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;span style="text-transform: uppercase;"&gt;                                                                           -30-&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/516191302505778836-6697811807478180475?l=coolwaternews.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://coolwaternews.blogspot.com/feeds/6697811807478180475/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=516191302505778836&amp;postID=6697811807478180475' title='1 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/516191302505778836/posts/default/6697811807478180475'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/516191302505778836/posts/default/6697811807478180475'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://coolwaternews.blogspot.com/2007/11/revision-of-in-class-crime-story.html' title='Revision of In-Class Crime Story'/><author><name>Ryan Coolwater</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/00041473657124697955</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><thr:total>1</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-516191302505778836.post-8421905266386987851</id><published>2007-11-04T21:08:00.000-08:00</published><updated>2007-12-04T09:30:17.657-08:00</updated><title type='text'>Article Critique 11/3/07</title><content type='html'>&lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;CRITIQUE/Caleb Waldron&lt;span style=""&gt;                                                                                        &lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt;          &lt;/span&gt;1&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;&lt;st1:place st="on"&gt;&lt;st1:city st="on"&gt;GUANTANAMO&lt;/st1:city&gt;&lt;/st1:place&gt; ARTICLE FAILS TO CONTEXTUALIZE&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;By Caleb Waldron&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;&lt;o:p&gt; &lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;The following is a critique of the "New York Times" article " New Detainee Rights Weighed in Plans to Close Guantanamo," accessible through the link:&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"&gt;&lt;a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/04/us/nationalspecial3/04gitmo.html?pagewanted=1&amp;amp;_r=1&amp;amp;hp"&gt;http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/04/us/nationalspecial3/04gitmo.html?pagewanted=1&amp;amp;_r=1&amp;amp;hp&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;This piece does an excellent job of relaying the immediate information surrounding the legal conflicts of &lt;st1:city st="on"&gt;&lt;st1:place st="on"&gt;Guantanamo&lt;/st1:place&gt;&lt;/st1:city&gt; detainees prisoners.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;The lede accurately portrays the issue in general, and each of the following paragraphs offers information with a progressively narrowed focus.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;And while the reader’s presented with a very focused topic, the information is&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;presented in such a way that the reader isn’t overwhelmed.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;Unfortunately, the piece doesn’t offer a sense of context as to what motivations are behind the issue of &lt;st1:city st="on"&gt;&lt;st1:place st="on"&gt;Guantanamo&lt;/st1:place&gt;&lt;/st1:city&gt; detainees.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;While the reader knows that the &lt;st1:country-region st="on"&gt;U.S.&lt;/st1:country-region&gt; government faces legal troubles for its actions, the reader isn’t told why &lt;st1:place st="on"&gt;&lt;st1:placename st="on"&gt;Guantanamo&lt;/st1:placename&gt; &lt;st1:placetype st="on"&gt;Bay&lt;/st1:placetype&gt;&lt;/st1:place&gt; is considered controversial.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;While this information is relatively well-known, the reader is still disconnected from the motivations behind the central conflict of this piece, and therefore disconnected from the importance of the affair.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt; &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 2.5in;"&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt;    &lt;/span&gt;-30-&lt;/p&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/516191302505778836-8421905266386987851?l=coolwaternews.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='related' href='http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/04/us/nationalspecial3/04gitmo.html?pagewanted=1&amp;_r=1&amp;hp' title='Article Critique 11/3/07'/><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://coolwaternews.blogspot.com/feeds/8421905266386987851/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=516191302505778836&amp;postID=8421905266386987851' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/516191302505778836/posts/default/8421905266386987851'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/516191302505778836/posts/default/8421905266386987851'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://coolwaternews.blogspot.com/2007/11/article-critique-11307.html' title='Article Critique 11/3/07'/><author><name>Ryan Coolwater</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/00041473657124697955</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-516191302505778836.post-6491154895928827087</id><published>2007-10-29T20:12:00.000-07:00</published><updated>2007-12-04T09:29:54.699-08:00</updated><title type='text'>Press Release/Crime Story Assignment</title><content type='html'>&lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;EXTORTION/Caleb Waldron&lt;span style=""&gt;                                                                        &lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt;                      &lt;/span&gt;1&lt;/p&gt;    &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;ASSEMBLYMAN PLEADS GUILTY FOR ATTEMPTED EXTORTION &lt;/p&gt;    &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;By Caleb Waldron&lt;/p&gt;    &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;&lt;o:p&gt; &lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;st1:place st="on"&gt;&lt;st1:city st="on"&gt;KALAMAZOO&lt;/st1:city&gt;, &lt;st1:state st="on"&gt;Mich.&lt;/st1:state&gt;&lt;/st1:place&gt;, On October 19&lt;sup&gt;th&lt;/sup&gt; former state Assemblyman Alfred E. Steele pleaded guilty to attempted extortion related to the guidance of public contracts, according to U.S. Attorney Christopher J. Christie.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;    &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;The New Jersey Assemblyman pled guilty to accepting $15,500 in bribes from an FBI undercover insurance brokerage company in exchange for official assistance in the direction of public contracts and further payment via a portion of the insurance brokerage’s revenue.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;    &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;Mr. Steele, age 53, was arrested on September 6 along with 10 other public officials and one private citizen for one-count criminal Information charging attempted extortion under color of official.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;Prior to his arrest, Mr. Steele had arranged and attended meetings between public officials within several municipalities, including his own, and &lt;/p&gt;    &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;representatives of the FBI undercover brokerage company.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;The defendants involved in&lt;/p&gt;    &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;the scandal include officials from the Paterson Housing Authority, the City of &lt;st1:place st="on"&gt;&lt;st1:city st="on"&gt;Passaic&lt;/st1:city&gt;&lt;/st1:place&gt;, the City of &lt;st1:city st="on"&gt;Orange&lt;/st1:city&gt;, and the &lt;st1:place st="on"&gt;&lt;st1:placename st="on"&gt;Paterson&lt;/st1:placename&gt; &lt;st1:placetype st="on"&gt;School District&lt;/st1:placetype&gt;&lt;/st1:place&gt;.&lt;span style=""&gt;   &lt;/span&gt;After his arrest, Mr. Steele resigned both his job as a &lt;st1:place st="on"&gt;&lt;st1:placename st="on"&gt;Passaic&lt;/st1:placename&gt;  &lt;st1:placetype st="on"&gt;County&lt;/st1:placetype&gt;&lt;/st1:place&gt; undersheriff and his seat in the New Jersey Assembly.  &lt;/p&gt;    &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;The case was brought before &lt;st1:place st="on"&gt;&lt;st1:country-region st="on"&gt;U.S.&lt;/st1:country-region&gt;&lt;/st1:place&gt; district judge Anne E. Thomson.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;The crime carries a maximum statutory penalty of 20 years in prison with a $250,000 fine.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;Mr. Steele faces 37-46 months in federal prison and currently remains free on $200,000 bond pending sentence.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;Christie credited the investigation’s success to special agents of the FBI under the direction of Special Agent in Charge Weysan Dun.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;Also credited were investigators and prosecutors with the Atlantic County Prosecutor’s Office under Prosecutor Theodore F.L. Housel.&lt;/p&gt;    &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;&lt;o:p&gt; &lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;    &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt;                                    &lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt;                           &lt;/span&gt;-30-&lt;/p&gt;    &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;&lt;o:p&gt; &lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;    &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;Source: FBI press release via: &lt;a href="http://newark.fbi.gov/dojpressrel/2007/nk101907.pdf"&gt;http://newark.fbi.gov/dojpressrel/2007/nk101907.pdf&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/516191302505778836-6491154895928827087?l=coolwaternews.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='related' href='http://newark.fbi.gov/dojpressrel/2007/nk101907.pdf' title='Press Release/Crime Story Assignment'/><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://coolwaternews.blogspot.com/feeds/6491154895928827087/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=516191302505778836&amp;postID=6491154895928827087' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/516191302505778836/posts/default/6491154895928827087'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/516191302505778836/posts/default/6491154895928827087'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://coolwaternews.blogspot.com/2007/10/press-releasecrime-story-assignment.html' title='Press Release/Crime Story Assignment'/><author><name>Ryan Coolwater</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/00041473657124697955</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-516191302505778836.post-3120606745883393350</id><published>2007-10-28T14:41:00.000-07:00</published><updated>2007-12-04T09:29:22.235-08:00</updated><title type='text'>Critique on New York Times "Death Penalty Tests a Church as It Mourns"</title><content type='html'>The following is a critique of the October 28th New York Times story "Death Penalty Tests a Church as It Mourns" by Alison Leigh Cowan, accessible through the link:&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/28/nyregion/28cheshire.html?ref=todayspaper&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;CRITIQUE/Caleb Waldron&lt;span style=""&gt;                                                                                        &lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt;          &lt;/span&gt;1&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;CRITIQUE ON NEY &lt;st1:place st="on"&gt;&lt;st1:city st="on"&gt;YORK&lt;/st1:city&gt;&lt;/st1:place&gt; TIMES ARTICLE “DEATH PENALTY TESTS A CHURCH AS IT MOURNS”&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;By Caleb Waldron&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;This article lacks structure, eloquence, and detail, starting with the title.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;“Death Penalty Tests a Church as it Mourns” is confusing and unnecessarily convoluted.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;“As is mourns” is superfluous; something like “Death Penalty Tests mourning church” would grab the reader’s attention more, and draw a stronger connection between the death penalty and the church’s morning.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;Otherwise, they seem to be independent variables.&lt;span style=""&gt;    &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt;            &lt;/span&gt;In terms of eloquence, this article smacks of speculation with questionable support.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;Phrases like “it might have been expected” and “they think/thought that” litter the work; there’s no sense of the concrete, or of actual facts.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;The article seems to consist entirely of hearsay and supposition.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;What’s more, the crux of the conflict within this article isn’t explicitly outlined.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;There’s mention of parishioners’ reluctance to publicly condemn the death penalty, but there’s no mention of their motivations for doing so. &lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;There isn’t a single sentence in this piece that outlines the basic moral issue involved.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;As such, there’s no sense of overall context with this piece.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;The reader’s left stranded with the information that a church is conflicted over issues related to the death penalty, but isn’t given the proper tools to apply that conflict to their own lives or surrounding issues.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt;            &lt;/span&gt;In regards to the overall context of the situation, there’s no sense of opposing viewpoints in this article.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;The sources are all parishioners who struggle with their own individual perspectives on the moral validity of the death penalty.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;But again, with no sense of larger context, the reader feels stranded from the piece.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt;      &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;Overall, this article relies on supposition and implication in such a way that creates a sterile, alien style.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt;                                                &lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt;                &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 2.5in;"&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt;   &lt;/span&gt;-30-&lt;/p&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/516191302505778836-3120606745883393350?l=coolwaternews.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='related' href='http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/28/nyregion/28cheshire.html?ref=todayspaper' title='Critique on New York Times &quot;Death Penalty Tests a Church as It Mourns&quot;'/><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://coolwaternews.blogspot.com/feeds/3120606745883393350/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=516191302505778836&amp;postID=3120606745883393350' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/516191302505778836/posts/default/3120606745883393350'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/516191302505778836/posts/default/3120606745883393350'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://coolwaternews.blogspot.com/2007/10/critique-on-new-york-times-death.html' title='Critique on New York Times &quot;Death Penalty Tests a Church as It Mourns&quot;'/><author><name>Ryan Coolwater</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/00041473657124697955</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-516191302505778836.post-3805580792777916600</id><published>2007-10-27T13:31:00.000-07:00</published><updated>2007-12-04T09:29:09.418-08:00</updated><title type='text'>Article Critique 10/27</title><content type='html'>The following is a critique of the New York Times article entitled "Watchdog of C.I.A is subject of C.I.A inquiry" from October 11th.&lt;br /&gt;http://www.nytimes.com/glogin?URI=http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/11/washington/12intel.html&amp;amp;OQ=_rQ3D1Q26refQ3Dtodayspaper&amp;amp;OP=2af68787Q2FQ5CuQ26cQ5CQ5BiNQ510iiQ5E5Q5C522DQ5Cb2Q5CbbQ5CuQ20Q51Q7E49OQ5Ei9Q5Cb549Q5EQ26GhQ7EQ5EdG&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;The first half of the article explains how Director Hayden’s investigation of Inspector General Helgerson can be viewed as counter-productive and outrageous. The second half of the article establishes why officials at the C.I.A are dissatisfied with the actions of Inspector General Helgerson.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;On the surface, this piece seems to provide an unbiased and evenly-balanced report of a conflict within the C.I.A between its Director and its Inspector General.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;But through a subtle orchestration of quotes and facts, the writer of this article conveys a sense of dissatisfaction and alarm over the actions of the Director of the C.I.A.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;These are my reasons:&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;1)&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;The first indication of this subtle criticism is that while the title of the piece portrays the Inspector General as being the focus of the article, the actual name of the Inspector General isn’t mentioned until the third paragraph.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;The Director, however, is mentioned in the first paragraph.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;I understand that ledes and opening paragraphs are meant to convey as much important information to the reader as possible with the shortest amount of words- so I find that this article’s focus to be on the Director of the C.I.A, and not the Inspector General.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;This emphasis encourages the reader to question the actions of the Director.&lt;span style=""&gt;   &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;2)&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;Right before the article provides possible reasons for dissatisfaction with the Inspector General, there’s mention of the alternative and arguably preferable methods of complaint.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;This order of paragraphs leads to a skepticism towards critics of the Inspector General- while there’s an established disgruntlement towards the official, there’s no sense of justification for the investigation.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;In essence, the writer’s lack of evidence in support of the investigation itself, compared to the in-depth analysis provided by the first paragraph, subtly leans the report against the actions of the Director.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt;            &lt;/span&gt;3) I find that the quotes of the first section are more powerful and well-worded than the quotes from the second section, which lends credence to the argument against the investigation.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;What’s more, the only ‘backed’ sources in this article are found in the first section- which lends more credence to their argument.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;4) A paragraph found on the first page describes the firing of Mary O. McCarthy and the work of Mr. Helgerson in the investigation of officials.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;While no direct link between the two incidents is drawn, their inclusion in the same paragraph creates a sense of underhandedness on the part of the Director of the C.I.A.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;5) The only concrete quote that ‘supports’ actions of the C.I.A Director is from John A. Rizzo, which states that &lt;span style=""&gt; &lt;/span&gt;“Director Hayden has done a lot of things to convince the operators that he’s looking out for them, and putting the I.G. back in its place is part of this.”&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;But I find that this quote to be a subtle criticism of the Director- the wording ‘to convince’ could be interpreted as an attempt to fool others, or to convey a message that isn’t true.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;The choice of wording creates a sense of ambiguity that leans towards criticism.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;In sum, this article criticizes the actions of the Director of the C.I.A without the use of an explicit confrontation or imposition of beliefs.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;This is conveyed especially well in the last paragraph, which describes the purpose of Inspector General as being ‘independent,’ after conveying the CIA’s desire to keep the situation contained within itself- thereby creating a sense of contradiction and highlighting a sense of skepticism towards the C.I.A.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/516191302505778836-3805580792777916600?l=coolwaternews.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='related' href='http://www.nytimes.com/glogin?URI=http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/11/washington/12intel.html&amp;OQ=_rQ3D1Q26refQ3Dtodayspaper&amp;OP=2af68787Q2FQ5CuQ26cQ5CQ5BiNQ510iiQ5E5Q5C522DQ5Cb2Q5CbbQ5CuQ20Q51Q7E49OQ5Ei9Q5Cb549Q5EQ26GhQ7EQ5EdG' title='Article Critique 10/27'/><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://coolwaternews.blogspot.com/feeds/3805580792777916600/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=516191302505778836&amp;postID=3805580792777916600' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/516191302505778836/posts/default/3805580792777916600'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/516191302505778836/posts/default/3805580792777916600'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://coolwaternews.blogspot.com/2007/10/following-is-critique-of-new-york-times.html' title='Article Critique 10/27'/><author><name>Ryan Coolwater</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/00041473657124697955</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-516191302505778836.post-8735984370869418195</id><published>2007-10-22T20:51:00.000-07:00</published><updated>2007-10-22T20:52:58.436-07:00</updated><title type='text'>Revised Obituary of War Hero</title><content type='html'>&lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;HERO DIES/Caleb Waldron&lt;span style=""&gt;                                                 &lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt;                                              &lt;/span&gt;1&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;World War II Hero dies at 79&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;By Caleb Waldrdon&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;&lt;o:p&gt; &lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt;            &lt;/span&gt;&lt;st1:place st="on"&gt;&lt;st1:city st="on"&gt;KALAMAZOO&lt;/st1:City&gt;&lt;/st1:place&gt;, &lt;st1:state st="on"&gt;Mich.-&lt;/st1:State&gt; Jeffrey R. Ahson, naval hero and longtime firefighter, died at 79 last night of emphysema, according to lietenant commander Geraldine Fyfe from the Naval Public Relations Office.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;“Ahson was a genuine war hero,” said Fyfe, clearly distraught over the hero’s death.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;Mr. Ahson was born in &lt;st1:place st="on"&gt;&lt;st1:city st="on"&gt;Chico&lt;/st1:City&gt;,  &lt;st1:state st="on"&gt;Calif.&lt;/st1:State&gt;&lt;/st1:place&gt; And served as a naval petty officer on the USS Emery during World War II.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;Mr. Ahson was noted for valor during the Battle of Midway in June 1942, during which he saved 4 seamen from the burning wreck and shot down three enemy aircraft.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;For his heroic actions, Mr. Ahson was promoted to ensign and was awarded both the Purple Heart and the Navy Cross.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt;            &lt;/span&gt;After he retired from the navy in 1946, Ahson moved to &lt;st1:place st="on"&gt;&lt;st1:city st="on"&gt;Kalamazoo&lt;/st1:City&gt;, &lt;st1:state st="on"&gt;Mich.&lt;/st1:State&gt;&lt;/st1:place&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;He was designated as awarded the position of post commander of the American Legion 702 and of VFW 4206.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;Ahson was also a meber of the National Checkers Association, Gideon’s International, and the Elks Lodge.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;He was also an usher of John Calvin Presbyterian Church.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;Mr. Ahson served as a city firefighter until 1985 and collected firefighting memorabilia, including a 1924 fire truck that is now on display at the &lt;st1:place st="on"&gt;&lt;st1:placetype st="on"&gt;Museum&lt;/st1:PlaceType&gt; of &lt;st1:placename st="on"&gt;Kalamazoo&lt;/st1:PlaceName&gt;&lt;/st1:place&gt;.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;After his retirement, Mr. Ahson worked as a car salesman.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt;            &lt;/span&gt;Mr. Ahson is survived by his wife Therese Alpert, his brother Henry from San &lt;span style=""&gt; &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 2.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;-MORE-&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;&lt;o:p&gt; &lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 6in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;2&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;Franscisco, his sisters Judith Eaker from Reedsville, N.C., Shirley Solomon from Newark, N.J., his children Richard Ahson from Phillipsburg, Kan., Angelina Malino from Omaha Neb. and Lilla Stalling from Pipe Creek, Texas and five grandchildren.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt;            &lt;/span&gt;Services will be held at 10 a.m. on Saturday at Littleton Mortuary, with viewings at 4 p.m. to 5:30 and 7:30 to 9 o’clock on Friday.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;The funeral will be held at Littleton Mortuary following the 10 a.m. services. The family requests no flowers.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;&lt;o:p&gt; &lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt;                                                &lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt;                &lt;/span&gt;-30- &lt;/p&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/516191302505778836-8735984370869418195?l=coolwaternews.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://coolwaternews.blogspot.com/feeds/8735984370869418195/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=516191302505778836&amp;postID=8735984370869418195' title='4 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/516191302505778836/posts/default/8735984370869418195'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/516191302505778836/posts/default/8735984370869418195'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://coolwaternews.blogspot.com/2007/10/revised-obituary-of-war-hero.html' title='Revised Obituary of War Hero'/><author><name>Ryan Coolwater</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/00041473657124697955</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><thr:total>4</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-516191302505778836.post-5893102487563039305</id><published>2007-10-19T19:47:00.000-07:00</published><updated>2007-12-04T09:28:42.307-08:00</updated><title type='text'>Article Critique on Bhutto Bombing 10/19</title><content type='html'>&lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;STORY CRITIQUE/Caleb Waldron&lt;span style=""&gt;                                                                         &lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt;          &lt;/span&gt;1&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;&lt;o:p&gt; &lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;Critique of 10/19/2007 New York Times Piece “Bomb Attack Kills Scores in &lt;st1:country-region st="on"&gt;&lt;st1:place st="on"&gt;Pakistan&lt;/st1:place&gt;&lt;/st1:country-region&gt; as Bhutto Returns”&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;&lt;o:p&gt; &lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;&lt;st1:place st="on"&gt;&lt;st1:city st="on"&gt;KALAMAZOO&lt;/st1:city&gt;, &lt;st1:state st="on"&gt;Mich.&lt;/st1:state&gt;&lt;/st1:place&gt; 10/19/2007- I find this to be an extremely powerful article because of its use of structure and the order of its content.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;This article weaves together separate moods and pieces of information in such a way that the reader is drawn into the work, thereby conveying a large amount of information without creating a sense of boredom.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;The lede sets a fast-paced, informative tempo- the basic descriptions of time and place are encapsulated in a brief, to-the-point paragraph.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;But the motivations behind the car-bombing, or any sense of context in regards to the targeted victim, are left unaddressed until the fourth paragraph, where there’s reference to Benazir Bhutto’s political career.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;Because this paragraph only grazes the subject of possible motivations behind the attack, the reader is drawn further still into the piece.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;And the next few paragraphs certainly capture their attention- descriptions of the crowd, of the explosion’s devastating effect, and of a juxtaposition with comparatively uplifting/inspiring descriptions of Ms. Bhutto’s arrival creates a sense of drama and intrigue that easily holds the reader’s attention.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;Finally, towards the end of the piece, there’s an analysis of the event’s overall motivations and ramifications in regards to tensions between the Pakistani government and the Pakistan Peoples’ Party.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;By this time, the reader has received an in-depth, humanized, detailed description of an event that would seem sterile, alien, and statistics-oriented in the words of a less talented writer.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt;                                                                                                                                    &lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt;          &lt;/span&gt;2&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt;                                                &lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt;                &lt;/span&gt;-30&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;Source: &lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;o:p&gt; &lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/19/world/asia/19pakistan.html?ref=todayspaper&amp;amp;page"&gt;http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/19/world/asia/19pakistan.html?ref=todayspaper&amp;amp;page&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;o:p&gt; &lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;wanted=print&lt;/p&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/516191302505778836-5893102487563039305?l=coolwaternews.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='related' href='http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/19/world/asia/19pakistan.html?ref=todayspaper&amp;page' title='Article Critique on Bhutto Bombing 10/19'/><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://coolwaternews.blogspot.com/feeds/5893102487563039305/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=516191302505778836&amp;postID=5893102487563039305' title='2 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/516191302505778836/posts/default/5893102487563039305'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/516191302505778836/posts/default/5893102487563039305'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://coolwaternews.blogspot.com/2007/10/article-critique-on-bhutto-bombing-1019.html' title='Article Critique on Bhutto Bombing 10/19'/><author><name>Ryan Coolwater</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/00041473657124697955</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><thr:total>2</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-516191302505778836.post-3941125453359779697</id><published>2007-10-12T20:43:00.000-07:00</published><updated>2007-10-12T20:55:05.036-07:00</updated><title type='text'>My fake obituary project, revised</title><content type='html'>&lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;After careful consideration, I decided to talk less about Ms. McKinney's personal life and focus more on her achievements.  While I feel that her upbringing might have added a more personal element to her life, I felt that snapshots of her career in politics and teaching would get across a better representation of who she was to the community at large and grab the reader's attention.  The obituary is as follows:&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;Obituary for Hannah McKinney&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;&lt;o:p&gt; &lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;Hannah E. McKinney, mayor of &lt;st1:city st="on"&gt;Kalamazoo&lt;/st1:City&gt;, &lt;st1:state st="on"&gt;Michigan&lt;/st1:State&gt;, and professor of Economics and Business at &lt;st1:placename st="on"&gt;Kalamazoo&lt;/st1:PlaceName&gt; &lt;st1:placetype st="on"&gt;College&lt;/st1:PlaceType&gt; since 1989, died last night at the age of 52 due to food poisoning at &lt;st1:place st="on"&gt;&lt;st1:placename st="on"&gt;Kalamazoo&lt;/st1:PlaceName&gt; &lt;st1:placetype st="on"&gt;College&lt;/st1:PlaceType&gt;&lt;/st1:place&gt;.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;Mayor McKinney’s husband, James, told reporters that the beloved political figure died after dining at &lt;st1:place st="on"&gt;&lt;st1:placename st="on"&gt;Kalamazoo&lt;/st1:PlaceName&gt; &lt;st1:placetype st="on"&gt;College&lt;/st1:PlaceType&gt;&lt;/st1:place&gt;’s cafeteria at approximately 6:45 at night.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;No other information was released in regards to the death.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt; &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;&lt;o:p&gt; &lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;Mayor McKinney was the publisher of several books, including “The Development of Local Public Services, 1650-1869:&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;Lessons from &lt;st1:place st="on"&gt;&lt;st1:city st="on"&gt;Middletown&lt;/st1:City&gt;, &lt;st1:state st="on"&gt;CT&lt;/st1:State&gt;&lt;/st1:place&gt;” by Greenwood Press in 1995.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;She also co-directed “Convening our Community” from 1999-2001, during which time she published several articles based on community building.&lt;span style=""&gt;     &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;During her teaching career at &lt;st1:place st="on"&gt;&lt;st1:placename st="on"&gt;Kalamazoo&lt;/st1:PlaceName&gt;  &lt;st1:placetype st="on"&gt;College&lt;/st1:PlaceType&gt;&lt;/st1:place&gt; in 1989, Mayor McKinney focused on the professional aspect of economics.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;Her area of study dwelt on the issues of urban economics, public finance, and urban planning.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;Her teachings both reflected this focus and reflected a wide spectrum within her field, as demonstrated in classes such as First-Year Seminars, studies of micro and macro economics, quantitative methods, and issues of urban development.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;After several years as a professor at the college, Mayor McKinney carried this enthusiasm for economics and development into the wider sphere of the city itself.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;Her charisma for reform was first noted during her position on the City’s Planning Commission of Kalamazoo from 1991-1997, during which time she chaired the Comprehensive Plan update and also served on the Downtown Plan committee.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;After having a taste of political life, Mayor McKinney ran for and obtained political office as vice-mayor of &lt;st1:place st="on"&gt;&lt;st1:city st="on"&gt;Kalamazoo&lt;/st1:City&gt;&lt;/st1:place&gt; for four terms, from 1997-2007.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;During November of 2005, she was elected as mayor of &lt;st1:place st="on"&gt;&lt;st1:city st="on"&gt;Kalamazoo&lt;/st1:City&gt;&lt;/st1:place&gt;.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;In her own words, “it was a difficult campaign because (she didn’t) know whether &lt;st1:place st="on"&gt;&lt;st1:city st="on"&gt;Kalamazoo&lt;/st1:City&gt;&lt;/st1:place&gt; has been faced with so many hard issues in decades.”&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;(&lt;st1:place st="on"&gt;&lt;st1:city st="on"&gt;Kalamazoo&lt;/st1:City&gt;&lt;/st1:place&gt; Gazette)&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;Even now, issues of job loss, racial unrest, poverty, and tightening budgets are still an issue for &lt;st1:place st="on"&gt;&lt;st1:city st="on"&gt;Kalamazoo&lt;/st1:City&gt;&lt;/st1:place&gt;.&lt;span style=""&gt;   &lt;/span&gt;But the Mayor’s efforts to thaw the icy relations between the cities of &lt;st1:city st="on"&gt;Kalamazoo&lt;/st1:City&gt; and &lt;st1:place st="on"&gt;&lt;st1:city st="on"&gt;Portage&lt;/st1:City&gt;&lt;/st1:place&gt; may provide a solution in the form of inter-city commerce.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;Her later research efforts included work on the future of small metropolitan areas and work on a National League of Cities project that examined the measures of poverty alleviation in cities across &lt;st1:place st="on"&gt;&lt;st1:country-region st="on"&gt;America&lt;/st1:country-region&gt;&lt;/st1:place&gt;.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;Mayor McKinney was born in 1955, and later received an AB from the &lt;st1:placetype st="on"&gt;University&lt;/st1:PlaceType&gt; of &lt;st1:placename st="on"&gt;North Carolina&lt;/st1:PlaceName&gt; at Chapel Hill and a P.H.D in Economics from the &lt;st1:place st="on"&gt;&lt;st1:placetype st="on"&gt;University&lt;/st1:PlaceType&gt;  of &lt;st1:placename st="on"&gt;Pennsylvania&lt;/st1:PlaceName&gt;&lt;/st1:place&gt;.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;She lived with her husband James and their two children on &lt;st1:street st="on"&gt;&lt;st1:address st="on"&gt;Grande Avenue&lt;/st1:address&gt;&lt;/st1:Street&gt; in&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;st1:place st="on"&gt;&lt;st1:city st="on"&gt;Kalamazoo&lt;/st1:City&gt;,  &lt;st1:state st="on"&gt;Michigan&lt;/st1:State&gt;&lt;/st1:place&gt;.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;Funeral preparations were made by Truesdale Ansell Funeral Home on &lt;st1:street st="on"&gt;&lt;st1:address st="on"&gt;Westnedge Avenue&lt;/st1:address&gt;&lt;/st1:Street&gt;, and services will be held at noon this coming Sunday at &lt;st1:place st="on"&gt;&lt;st1:placename st="on"&gt;Allen&lt;/st1:PlaceName&gt;  &lt;st1:placename st="on"&gt;Chapel&lt;/st1:PlaceName&gt; &lt;st1:placename st="on"&gt;Ame&lt;/st1:PlaceName&gt;  &lt;st1:placetype st="on"&gt;Church&lt;/st1:PlaceType&gt;&lt;/st1:place&gt;.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;st1:place st="on"&gt;&lt;st1:placename st="on"&gt;Kalamazoo&lt;/st1:PlaceName&gt;  &lt;st1:placetype st="on"&gt;College&lt;/st1:PlaceType&gt;&lt;/st1:place&gt; will hold its own memorial service at 9:00 this coming Monday morning.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;She will be missed by all.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;Throughout her career, Mayor McKinney literally ‘practiced what she preached’ in regards to progressive reform in the economic, political, and educational spheres.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;&lt;o:p&gt; &lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;&lt;o:p&gt; &lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;&lt;o:p&gt; &lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;SOURCES:&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://www.kalamazoocity.org/portal/government.php?page_id=263"&gt;http://www.kalamazoocity.org/portal/government.php?page_id=263&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://www.kzoo.edu/faculty/profile.php?name=mckinney"&gt;http://www.kzoo.edu/faculty/profile.php?name=mckinney&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p&gt;&lt;st1:place st="on"&gt;&lt;st1:city st="on"&gt;Kalamazoo&lt;/st1:City&gt;&lt;/st1:place&gt; Gazzette, Wednesday November 9, 2005&lt;/p&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/516191302505778836-3941125453359779697?l=coolwaternews.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://coolwaternews.blogspot.com/feeds/3941125453359779697/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=516191302505778836&amp;postID=3941125453359779697' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/516191302505778836/posts/default/3941125453359779697'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/516191302505778836/posts/default/3941125453359779697'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://coolwaternews.blogspot.com/2007/10/my-fake-obituary-project-revised.html' title='My fake obituary project, revised'/><author><name>Ryan Coolwater</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/00041473657124697955</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-516191302505778836.post-2923878831002138437</id><published>2007-10-12T20:36:00.000-07:00</published><updated>2007-12-04T09:27:58.159-08:00</updated><title type='text'>Critique of Obituary</title><content type='html'>The following is a critique of the article "Nolan Herndon, Navigator in '42 Raid, Dies at 88" that can be accessed through the link&lt;br /&gt;http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/12/us/12herndon.html?ref=todayspaper&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;I find that this obituary’s focus the deceased’s military service detracts from conveying a sense of personality.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;Indeed, besides Mr. Herndon’s role as a navigator-bombardier there’s little to no reference of any other event related to his 82 years of life. &lt;span style=""&gt; &lt;/span&gt;The article further compartmentalizes the man’s life by emphasizing a single event within his career, known as the “Doolittle Raid.”&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;While this was no doubt an influential and life-changing event within his life, there’s no sense of context- the reader gets no sense of what led him to engage in the event, or how it affected him in later life.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;There’s mention that he received the Medal of Honor, but nothing that connects him to the incident as a whole or distinguishes him from his fellow airmen.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;In essence, the reader feels completely disconnected from the deceased- the same obituary very well might have been written for any of the other 4 airmen who engaged in the “Doolittle Raid.”&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;This is less an obituary than a cold, impersonal history lesson.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/516191302505778836-2923878831002138437?l=coolwaternews.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='related' href='http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/12/us/12herndon.html?ref=todayspaper' title='Critique of Obituary'/><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://coolwaternews.blogspot.com/feeds/2923878831002138437/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=516191302505778836&amp;postID=2923878831002138437' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/516191302505778836/posts/default/2923878831002138437'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/516191302505778836/posts/default/2923878831002138437'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://coolwaternews.blogspot.com/2007/10/following-is-critique-of-article-nolan.html' title='Critique of Obituary'/><author><name>Ryan Coolwater</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/00041473657124697955</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-516191302505778836.post-1993698244533020324</id><published>2007-10-12T20:32:00.001-07:00</published><updated>2007-12-04T09:27:41.213-08:00</updated><title type='text'>Critique of article related to starvation in Japan</title><content type='html'>This is a critique of the article “Death Reveals Harsh Side of a “Model” in &lt;st1:country-region st="on"&gt;&lt;st1:place st="on"&gt;Japan&lt;/st1:place&gt;&lt;/st1:country-region&gt;” by the New York Times that can be accessed through the link&lt;span style="text-decoration: underline;"&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/12/world/asia/12japan.html?pagewanted=2"&gt;http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/12/world/asia/12japan.html?pagewanted=2&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;This article’s initial focus on the death a single victim of poor welfare in &lt;st1:place st="on"&gt;&lt;st1:country-region st="on"&gt;China&lt;/st1:country-region&gt;&lt;/st1:place&gt; adds an element of personality to an otherwise impersonal and un-contextualized abhorrence that affects millions.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;The ‘shock value’ of a starvation victim’s ledger grabs the reader’s attention and brings them to the focus of an issue that would otherwise be alien to the average American reader; there’s an element of connection to the piece.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;While I’m not a fan of the notion that ‘shock breeds good news,’ the account of pain and longing creates a connection that couldn’t be captured through a sterile graph of income projections or low-housing figures.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;Furthermore, the pictures convey the desperation of the welfare recipients’ situation.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;The frames of dilapidated housing and an emaciated victim of the welfare system capture a sense of the squalor in these peoples’ environments and a sense of connection to their situation as a whole.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;In essence, this paper creates a connection between the reader and a topic that would otherwise be alien and sterile.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/516191302505778836-1993698244533020324?l=coolwaternews.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='related' href='http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/12/world/asia/12japan.html?pagewanted=2' title='Critique of article related to starvation in Japan'/><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://coolwaternews.blogspot.com/feeds/1993698244533020324/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=516191302505778836&amp;postID=1993698244533020324' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/516191302505778836/posts/default/1993698244533020324'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/516191302505778836/posts/default/1993698244533020324'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://coolwaternews.blogspot.com/2007/10/critique-of-article-related-to.html' title='Critique of article related to starvation in Japan'/><author><name>Ryan Coolwater</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/00041473657124697955</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-516191302505778836.post-1226037280625608141</id><published>2007-10-12T19:54:00.000-07:00</published><updated>2007-12-04T09:27:25.528-08:00</updated><title type='text'>Obituary Critique</title><content type='html'>&lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt;"&gt;The following is the title of an obituary posted on the New York Times website titled "Nolan Herndon, Navigator in '42 Raid, Dies at 88," which can be accessed at http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/12/us/12herndon.html?ref=todayspaper&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;I find that this obituary’s focus the deceased’s military service detracts from conveying a sense of personality. Indeed, besides Mr. Herndon’s role as a navigator-bombardier there’s little to no reference of any other event related to his 88 years of life. The article further compartmentalizes the man’s life by emphasizing a single event within his career, known as the “Doolittle Raid.” While this was no doubt an influential and life-changing event within his life, there’s no sense of context- the reader gets no sense of what led him to engage in the event, or how it affected him in later life. There’s mention that he received the Medal of Honor, but nothing that connects him to the incident as a whole or distinguishes him from his fellow airmen. In essence, the reader feels completely disconnected from the deceased- the same obituary very well might have been written for any of the other 4 airmen who engaged in the “Doolittle Raid.” This is less an obituary than a cold, impersonal history lesson. &lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;span style=""&gt; &lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt; &lt;/span&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/516191302505778836-1226037280625608141?l=coolwaternews.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='related' href='http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/12/us/12herndon.html?ref=todayspaper' title='Obituary Critique'/><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://coolwaternews.blogspot.com/feeds/1226037280625608141/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=516191302505778836&amp;postID=1226037280625608141' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/516191302505778836/posts/default/1226037280625608141'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/516191302505778836/posts/default/1226037280625608141'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://coolwaternews.blogspot.com/2007/10/obituary-critique.html' title='Obituary Critique'/><author><name>Ryan Coolwater</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/00041473657124697955</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-516191302505778836.post-532101586442018637</id><published>2007-10-12T13:31:00.000-07:00</published><updated>2007-12-04T09:26:57.514-08:00</updated><title type='text'>Article Critique 10/12</title><content type='html'>The following is a review of the "New York Times" article "Watchdog of C.I.A. is Subject of C.I.A. Inquiry."&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;The first half of the article explains how Director Hayden’s investigation of Inspector General Helgerson can be viewed as counter-productive and outrageous. The second half of the article establishes why officials at the C.I.A are dissatisfied with the actions of Inspector General Helgerson.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;On the surface, this piece seems to provide an unbiased and evenly-balanced report of a conflict within the C.I.A between its Director and its Inspector General.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;But through a subtle orchestration of quotes and facts, the writer of this article conveys a sense of dissatisfaction and alarm over the actions of the Director of the C.I.A.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;These are my reasons:&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;1)&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;The first indication of this subtle criticism is that while the title of the piece portrays the Inspector General as being the focus of the article, the actual name of the Inspector General isn’t mentioned until the third paragraph.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;The Director, however, is mentioned in the first paragraph.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;I understand that ledes and opening paragraphs are meant to convey as much important information to the reader as possible with the shortest amount of words- so I find that this article’s focus to be on the Director of the C.I.A, and not the Inspector General.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;This emphasis encourages the reader to question the actions of the Director.&lt;span style=""&gt;   &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;2)&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;Right before the article provides possible reasons for dissatisfaction with the Inspector General, there’s mention of the alternative and arguably preferable methods of complaint.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;This order of paragraphs leads to a skepticism towards critics of the Inspector General- while there’s an established disgruntlement towards the official, there’s no sense of justification for the investigation.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;In essence, the writer’s lack of evidence in support of the investigation itself, compared to the in-depth analysis provided by the first paragraph, subtly leans the report against the actions of the Director.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"&gt;&lt;span style=""&gt;            &lt;/span&gt;3) I find that the quotes of the first section are more powerful and well-worded than the quotes from the second section, which lends credence to the argument against the investigation.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;What’s more, the only ‘backed’ sources in this article are found in the first section- which lends more credence to their argument.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;4) A paragraph found on the first page describes the firing of Mary O. McCarthy and the work of Mr. Helgerson in the investigation of officials.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;While no direct link between the two incidents is drawn, their inclusion in the same paragraph creates a sense of underhandedness on the part of the Director of the C.I.A.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;5) The only concrete quote that ‘supports’ actions of the C.I.A Director is from John A. Rizzo, which states that &lt;span style=""&gt; &lt;/span&gt;“Director Hayden has done a lot of things to convince the operators that he’s looking out for them, and putting the I.G. back in its place is part of this.”&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;But I find that this quote to be a subtle criticism of the Director- the wording ‘to convince’ could be interpreted as an attempt to fool others, or to convey a message that isn’t true.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;The choice of wording creates a sense of ambiguity that leans towards criticism.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 200%;"&gt;In sum, this article criticizes the actions of the Director of the C.I.A without the use of an explicit confrontation or imposition of beliefs.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;This is conveyed especially well in the last paragraph, which describes the purpose of Inspector General as being ‘independent,’ after conveying the C.I.A.’s desire to keep the situation contained within itself- thereby creating a sense of contradiction and highlighting a sense of skepticism towards the C.I.A.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/516191302505778836-532101586442018637?l=coolwaternews.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='related' href='http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/11/washington/12intel.html?pagewanted=1&amp;_r=1&amp;ref=todayspaper' title='Article Critique 10/12'/><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://coolwaternews.blogspot.com/feeds/532101586442018637/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=516191302505778836&amp;postID=532101586442018637' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/516191302505778836/posts/default/532101586442018637'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/516191302505778836/posts/default/532101586442018637'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://coolwaternews.blogspot.com/2007/10/article-critique-1012.html' title='Article Critique 10/12'/><author><name>Ryan Coolwater</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/00041473657124697955</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-516191302505778836.post-6456274387274064775</id><published>2007-10-08T13:30:00.000-07:00</published><updated>2007-12-02T11:05:05.296-08:00</updated><title type='text'>Assignment from page 181 of "Writing and Reporting"</title><content type='html'>Assignment from page 181 of "Writing and Reporting":&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;  The Connecticut State Police Department banned hand-held radar guns yesterday due to concerns of a possible link with cancer, according to police spokesman Adam Berluti.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;The police departmnent’s ban on hand-held radar guns was ordered as a precaution while researchers study the possible link between cancer and long-term exposure to the radiation waves emitted by the device.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;“The feeling here is to err on the side of caution until more is known about the issue,” Berluti said.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;“The whole situation is under review.”&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;The move is considered to be the first of its kind in a police agency, and came two months after three police officers in Connecticut filed workers’ compensation claims, saying that they developed cancer from using hand-held radar guns.&lt;span style=""&gt;  &lt;/span&gt;While the ban affects 70 radar guns, which will be withdrawn from service, state troopers will continue to use radar units with transmitters mounted on the outside of their cruisers.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/516191302505778836-6456274387274064775?l=coolwaternews.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://coolwaternews.blogspot.com/feeds/6456274387274064775/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=516191302505778836&amp;postID=6456274387274064775' title='0 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/516191302505778836/posts/default/6456274387274064775'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/516191302505778836/posts/default/6456274387274064775'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://coolwaternews.blogspot.com/2007/10/assignment-from-page-181-of-writing-and.html' title='Assignment from page 181 of &quot;Writing and Reporting&quot;'/><author><name>Ryan Coolwater</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/00041473657124697955</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><thr:total>0</thr:total></entry><entry><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-516191302505778836.post-8399576040502453490</id><published>2007-10-03T11:32:00.000-07:00</published><updated>2007-12-04T09:25:57.302-08:00</updated><title type='text'>Amazing Lead from the New York Times</title><content type='html'>"ZAMORA, &lt;a href="http://topics.nytimes.com/top/news/international/countriesandterritories/mexico/index.html?inline=nyt-geo" title="More news and information about Mexico."&gt;Mexico&lt;/a&gt; — When she gets her high, Lupita Díaz says she enters a sweet illusion of peace, a respite from her pain and self-loathing."&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;This lede was taken from the New York Times online on Tuesday, October 3.  The article was titled "Drug Trade, Once Passing By, Takes Root in Mexico," and the link to the article is&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/03/world/americas/03addicts.html?_r=1&amp;amp;ref=todayspaper&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I chose this soft lede because the writer captures a sense of instability and loss  in little more than a dozen words.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/516191302505778836-8399576040502453490?l=coolwaternews.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</content><link rel='related' href='http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/03/world/americas/03addicts.html?_r=1&amp;ref=todayspaper' title='Amazing Lead from the New York Times'/><link rel='replies' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://coolwaternews.blogspot.com/feeds/8399576040502453490/comments/default' title='Post Comments'/><link rel='replies' type='text/html' href='http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=516191302505778836&amp;postID=8399576040502453490' title='2 Comments'/><link rel='edit' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/516191302505778836/posts/default/8399576040502453490'/><link rel='self' type='application/atom+xml' href='http://www.blogger.com/feeds/516191302505778836/posts/default/8399576040502453490'/><link rel='alternate' type='text/html' href='http://coolwaternews.blogspot.com/2007/10/amazing-lead-from-new-york-times.html' title='Amazing Lead from the New York Times'/><author><name>Ryan Coolwater</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/00041473657124697955</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel='http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail' width='16' height='16' src='http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif'/></author><thr:total>2</thr:total></entry></feed>
